The Road to unhappiness

Love is an a feeling of affection between a man and a woman. These days it also includes a man and a man or a woman and a woman. Regardless this feeling is a human trait that is only unique to certain animals. When this feeling grows strong enough marriage can be an choice the couple chooses to exercise. This is an extremely difficult choice that many couples need to consider. The ramifications are enormous as well as the consequences. There are just so many things to consider before deciding to make this life altering decision.

However, what if marriage were not based on the feelings of affection. What if marriage was consecrated based on shallow superficial aspects in our lives? This is what this entry will be discussing the traditional perspective of marital relationships on the island of Taiwan.

While this may be a novel idea to many people, tradition views of marriage include marrying at a certain age. It also involves courtship, observing the background of a person then going then deciding whether or not the person would be suitable for marriage. This is of course logical and there is nothing wrong with this type thinking. However, the conflict arises when people begin to force the issue of marriage. They are transformed from logical human beings into illogical ones that are desperate for either a husband or a wife. Usually this results in forcing an unnatural issue. There is also an incredibly high likelihood that marriage will not be one of bliss but rather near moribund anguish. Why does this occur?

One reason is because marriage is NOT A FORCED issue. It is not a forced issue whether you are as young as 19 or as old as 60. Frankly put a person should never FEEL the need to get married because it is socially acceptable or not. This event should be based on an individual's feelings and their own choice. The act of marriage is basically a lifelong commitment. When someone states "I do" it is not just a mere two words. Those two words result in a lifetime of filial piety and commitment. You can't just say those words to anyone you choose just because you feel you are getting old and you feel it will not be gaucherie for you not to be married and conceive children of your own. Forcing yourself to marry or being pressured into marrying at a time when you are obviously not ready or you are person marrying a man or woman whom you do not share feelings of affection for does not garner social acceptance. It only leads to the a road of misery because you are coercing yourself to do something that is against your own true desires.


Furthermore there is another disturbing mentality amongst the elder generation. They constantly seem to drill a certain thought into women's heads and men's heads. One is women should just find a husband to take care of them. To me this perspective is a bit too much. Initially it does seem like a viable option however, in another view it is also stating "You are not capable of holding your own or surviving as a person so don't try to be independent have someone take care of you".

Men aren't given any better advice. They are often told they are to take care of their wives completely and it is not implied but, rather directly stated that they should have a wife that is not their equal or superior. I have heard this all the time such as my mother stating "What kind of shameful man are you for saying it's OK for a woman to make more than you". That is complete rubbish and such bigoted idiocy. One she basically insulted HERSELF with that remark. Second what is wrong with a woman making more than you. It is thanks to this narrow minded mentality that results in women who are strong(mentally) and independent being single in Taiwan for the most part. It also makes men afraid of a challenge and view women in a negative light.


To close of my argument marriage is not something that should be brought up because you wnat a provider, a doll, social acceptance, or any other superficial idiotic feelings. Marriage should only be considered when the feeling is real and it lasts for a long time that is one thing. While money having a provider is quite important it should NOT be the main reason you decide to marry.